remember me ,special needs

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leonorfernandes's avatar
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Soooo .. maybe you know this by now ( if you don't ,shame on you !! ) .. but today's DizturbedJay's birthday :3
And well, my cell phone kind of sucks, and it's quite easier to say everything I want to say here ( and I really have to say a LOOOOT )
Here it goes, then:


Life's a bitch. And you know it, maybe better than most of the people. You know how much pain someone can feel without deserving it. You know how many troubles you can find in your way, troubles you don't even know why on earth they were there stopping you from moving on. Life's a bitch, and here's something I keep telling you and for some reason you don't believe it: you don't deserve most of the things that Life keep doing to you. There's a lot of grief going on inside you when it should be gone by now. You're much too amazing to have to deal with that kind of things.

Your 19th birthday .. It seems like I have to tell you a bunch of things before it's too late (two years from now and who knows, maybe I'd regret not saying it ). Most of the things you already know, but it's always good to remind you. Friendships, most of 'em, don't start for any special reason. People talk, people laugh, people get closer. How it started, it doesn't really matter. I'm glad to say you're one of the best people I've ever known, and more than glad, I'm f#cking proud of being able to call you a 'friend'. You've been there for me a thousand times, and I bet that you'll be another thousand, if I need you to be. ( now the cliché part … ) You've always had a shoulder I could cry on ( metaphorically speaking, once I never cried in front of you ^^' ) , always had a word to make me feel better, always showed me how beautiful the world can be, if we open our eyes and look around us. It sounds like the kind of thing that most friends should do. Well, many of them kept letting me down, and after what, a year or so, you've always stood by me… and specially knowing that you had a thousand reasons to turn your back and leave me by myself, all I have to do is thanking you for never ever give up on someone as worthless and this one who's writing this crap right now. There were a lot of things that should have never been said, a lot of things that should have never happened. A lot of things that I thought for a long time that would fuck us up. Why didn't they ?
For a long time, I also thought you didn't care ( as you well know ) .. I guess I needed some time to realize that the fact that you're never here , that you're not always saying pretty things , doesn't mean that you don't care. Maybe I'm wrong and this is just a stupid illusion, but I definitely think that you do care. Not as much as I do, but still (a)
( this is getting big .. )
Enough of 'thank you's.
I want you to know that I'm here. I'm here for real, I'm here no matter what. If you need to scream, if you need to sit and enjoy the silence, I'm here. If you ever need something, you know where to run. Probably it won't be the 1st place that'll come to your mind, but at least you'll know that there's one place in this world where you can go to, anytime you want. I'm here L. As I always said I'd be.
Who knows, maybe one day I'll get to know your voice, and we'll talk for hours. Maybe one day you'll learn to play the damn guitar. Maybe one day , two years from now, we'll still be in touch and on 25.06 you'll still be here telling jokes about me being a dwarf and I'll love it more than ever. What I mean is .. well, I'm here. Just stay here you too. The world's sick and twisted, and I know how much you hate it. But the world needs people like you, and people like you need the world.
So I guess these will be my last words. Stay here. « there's too much goddamn beauty to quit.»
Happy b.day ! *

( m&m likes you a lot , lil one :tighthug: )

You don't have to walk alone - you're not alone right now . *
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And now .. features time !!









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bielusik's avatar
thank you very much :*